Severus Snape, counsellor
by moon-dragon3
Summary: What happens when our resident snarker grows a heart? Read to find out. Short and sweet.


FOR DAGGY  
  
This is dedicated to my beautiful, wondrous, fantastic friend Daggy who is miserable. I thought I would write something with Harry angst in it to make her feel better as she nags me so much about it.  
  
This is not meant to be offensive etc though it deals with the issue of child-abuse and self-harm in a fairly casual light. Sorry if that upsets anyone.  
  
No offence to all Angsty!Harry writers; I am one myself. I just really wanted to do this, it occurred to me whilst in a Latin exam (a 1 ¼ exam, and I finished in 20 minutes!) and hopefully getting it down on paper will help me to concentrate on my coming exams. Or maybe not. Anyway, enough with the rambling.  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
"For Merlin's sake, Albus!"  
  
Severus Snape, Potions Master at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was currently standing on the other side of the conveniently placed gargoyle, spit flying from his twisted mouth as he screamed at Albus Dumbledore, who would occasionally rummage a little in his beard until he found a lemon drop and pop it into his mouth with a smile, stood in the relative safety of the threshold of his office.  
  
"I refuse to go on a. . .what did you call it?"  
  
"Indeed."  
  
"Albus! You are not listening to me!" whinged Snape petulantly. "I don't want to."  
  
Dumbledore smiled benignly and popped another lemon drop before spitting it out.  
  
"Alas! Earwax! That's the spirit, dear boy. Your carriage will arrive tomorrow."  
  
And with that, he disappeared into his office, presumably to find more friendly sweets.  
  
**********************************************  
  
Severus didn't know what to do with himself. Facing away from the driver of the carriage, scowling, grimacing, glaring or sneering was pointless as the driver couldn't see him. He had tried glaring at the man's broad back, to no avail. He supposed that it could have been worse. He could be travelling to a Counselling Seminar in a cramped, smelly, dusty cart with a talkative driver. This man was at least quiet.  
  
Yes, you didn't mishear that. Albus had *ahem* persuaded Severus to go on a counselling course. You never know when these things come in useful.  
  
"What if you found a suicidal student?" he had asked, in a rare moment of relative sanity. Snape had sneered, his greasy hair falling into his eyes in a very sexy manner.  
  
"I would rejoice. There seem to be far to few of them."  
  
Albus had cleared his throat and gone off on another tangent. But it didn't make any difference. Severus Snape was doomed.  
  
**************************************************  
  
2 hours later  
  
Severus Snape was amazed. His perpetual sneer was gone, to be replaced by a worried frown.  
  
"You mean. . .people actually hit their children?"  
  
The group had spent the last half-hour explaining this to him. He was having trouble understanding.  
  
"But I. . .I. . ."  
  
"Come on, Severus" cooed a frizzy haired witch. "Let it out."  
  
The rest of the group leaned in, nodding and murmuring encouragement. Gritting his teeth, Severus finally forced the fatal words out.  
  
"That makes me feel sorry for the children."  
  
An awe-struck silence filled the hall, and then the clapping began. Severus blushed slightly, palms sweaty.  
  
"I feel sorry for them. I pity them. Poor children!"  
  
"Of course, it does not stop there. The methods children can resort to. . .in the face of this abuse. . ."  
  
By the end of the day, Severus had burst into tears four times. By the end of the week, he had made a vow.  
  
To be there for the children of Hogwarts in times of need.  
  
*******************************************************  
  
Harry lay pathetically in the cupboard, waiting for someone to save him. Hedwig hooted cheerfully at him, and he gazed up mournfully at her.  
  
"Don't worry. I'm sure they'll kill me before they kill you" he said morbidly. Hedwig chirped cheerfully again and he scowled.  
  
"Stupid bird."  
  
"Keep it down in there, boy!"  
  
"Yes sir" he said flatly. He looked at his watch. Where the hell was his saviour?  
  
************************************************************  
  
"Hi Harry" said Ron. His girlfriend Hermione slapped him.  
  
"Ow! What was that for?"  
  
"Making a move on Harry. You're mine, mine, you hear me?" and with that she forgot her stereotype as the good little girl and threw Ron back on the chair, kissing his passionately. Malfoy came in and winked.  
  
"Oh Potty. Feeling all left out?"  
  
Harry fell in love with Draco and they both started making out on the floor before Seamus came in.  
  
"Hey hey! What's going on here? Two couplings without the famous Hogwarts Slut?"  
  
"Oh yeah, Sorry Seamus" said Harry. He began kissing Seamus.  
  
"Hey, what happened to your back?" he asked Harry as Draco was stripping him.  
  
"Oh, I fell down the stairs."  
  
"Oh yeah, of course." And then they all went back to making out.  
  
*********************************************  
  
Severus watched the entering student with worry. He thought that about half of them were abused. From the way they were walking. Especially Harry Potter. He would have to speak with him. He was walking very stiffly.  
  
He didn't know that was because Harry had been shagged senseless by a very well-hung Malfoy (though not as well hung as Snape. More on that story later). Harry didn't eat any tea because he was feeling sick from the previous beating he had received from Vernon, in which his arm and leg had been broken. However he was such a good actor that he was able to disguise this without anyone noticing his pain. He had also, using the wandless magic which he had suddenly inherited from somewhere, disguised the bruising on his face.  
  
As he left the table, Snape swooped up behind him, causing Harry to jump. Severus' eyes filled with tears at the open display of childish terror and he only just managed to choke out, "Come to my office, Harry" before running off to find a tissue.  
  
Confused, Harry went down to the dungeons. He knocked on the door, and Severus opened it to reveal a small but airy, neat but comfortable, dark but bright, room. A perfect room, in fact.  
  
"Do come in, Harry. Can I get you anything? Tea? Coffee? Pumpkin juice? Some chocolate? I noticed you didn't eat much this evening."  
  
Taken aback, and slightly concerned by Snape's caring, Harry did the only thing he could think of to deflect attention from himself. He jumped Snape. Because, of course, having hated the man for so many years, he suddenly felt unrequited love for him and wanted to get married and have kids. So he stuck his tongue down Snape's throat, and hoped for the best. After a few moments Snape decided that this would be the best for Harry mentally and so proceeded to undress and shag him senseless again.  
  
"Oh" he said suddenly, flopped bonelessly atop our puny hero. (after he had come) "What happened to your back?"  
  
Harry smiled cheerfully, hiding his inner turmoil.  
  
"I fell down the stairs."  
  
"Oh, alright" said Severus, wondering how you could fall down the stairs and cut long horizontal whip-marks into your back but not wanting to seem ignorant. Because Harry was obviously a Slytherin so could lie. Or was it the other was around? Hang on. Yes, Harry could lie. Hmm, this called for understanding.  
  
"You know" he said, laying a gentle hand on Harry's naked shoulder, "We cannot change the wind, all we can do is adjust our sails."  
  
Harry looked nonplussed.  
  
"You are beautiful, Harry, no matter what they say. Words can't bring you do-ee-own."  
  
He burst into song on the last bit and Harry looked a little bit terrified.  
  
"Money cannot buy you friends, but it can ensure a better class of enemy."  
  
Harry looked dumb again and Severus frowned.  
  
"No, wrong quote."  
  
Harry was totally confused by now, but he remembered that Severus was a good shag, so jumped him again.  
  
****************************************************  
  
"Harry?"  
  
"Mmh? Asked Harry, dragging on a post-coital fag.  
  
"Are you abused?"  
  
Harry looked at him, the green eyes misting with tears before he nodded and began to cry. Awkwardly, Severus drew him in for a hug, realising that he was falling in love.  
  
"Yes" gasped the Gryffindor. "I am abused, and I CUT MYSELF, AND I AM ANOREXIC, INSOMNIAC AND BULIMIC."  
  
Severus cuddled the body to his, completely relaxed about the contact now.  
  
"I'm so proud of you for admitting that, Harry. Will you marry me?"  
  
Harry nodded with a massive grin and Severus drew out a ring which had been passed down through the generations of the Snape family.  
  
"I love you, Harry" he said, placing the ring on Harry's finger.  
  
"I love you too, Sev - erk!"  
  
"Oh shit" grumbled Sev, realising that the ring was cursed and that he had just killed Harry. "Damned relatives. . ."  
  
Harry opened his eyes.  
  
"Oh. I'm alive."  
  
"Yay!" whooped Sev, kissing his lover passionately. "Will you still marry me?"  
  
"Indeed I will" said Harry.  
  
And they all lived happily ever after.  
*****************************************************  
  
Yay, I finished a story! Sorry if you are ashamed to have this dedicated to you, Daggy, it turned out quite not-funny but there you go. People like me are only good for torturing Harry. Still, please review, even if it is only to flame me and say you hope I die a horrible death at the hands of Daggy and her spoons. 


End file.
